Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
