I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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