They should really pass out barf bags in church
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
