apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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