She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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