my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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