is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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