You're my little dorito
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
