weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
