I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
