i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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