so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
