why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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