Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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