wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
