I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
