It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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