2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
