I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
