Screwed.edu
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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