Its about making memories worth repressing
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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