covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
