i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize