he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
