Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
