now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
