Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
