get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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