I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
