life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
