It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
