I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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