and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.