he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.