Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
