Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
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Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.