if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.