as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
