This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My cat gives me a boner
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
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she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
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I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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