My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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