tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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