I'm gonna have a badass scar
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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