it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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