Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
