im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
