I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
