you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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