I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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