Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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