She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
