and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
