I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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