found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
