East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
