omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
