I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
