Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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