sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
