i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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