Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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