Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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