Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
