so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
